Why Being "Good Enough" is Better Than Being Perfect

It's hard to ignore the cultural pull of perfection. With the highly curated projects and self-presentation we get on social media, other people's lives and accomplishments may seem so much better than ours. We might wonder why we feel anxious about measuring up, but it's actually a normal reaction to the pressure to be perfect.

In her bestselling book, The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), Brené Brown shows us the traps of perfectionism—and what we gain from showing up as our imperfect selves. She argues that we can find courage, compassion, and connection from simply being honest and authentic.

Brown claims that it takes an initial dose of courage to push through the fear of what people might think when we open up. And, while some people may always be ready to judge us, when we do find someone who is compassionate to what we are sharing, it can help us be more compassionate to ourselves. This leads us to connection and the knowledge that struggles get easier when we share them. We generally learn we aren't the only ones struggling—and that "perfect" isn't real.

So, how do we work on being less perfect?

A research team led by Sarah Redden of Florida State University suspected that making and accepting mistakes was the answer to managing perfectionism.

Redden's experiment involved assigning a series of challenging tasks to a group of women who had high internal standards and who valued flawlessness. The goal was to force them to make regular mistakes—and get used to the feeling. The result was that these women quickly became less anxious and more accepting of perceived failure.

What does that mean? It means that challenging yourself to dive in and make mistakes is the first step toward real personal growth and development.

But how do we define our goal if it isn't perfection?

One answer is just aiming for "good enough." We don't need to let go of our values and aspirations; we simply need to make our expectations more realistic and, therefore, attainable. Don't focus on the ideal; focus on feeling worthy even if you don't achieve absolutely perfect results.

Some might argue that giving up on the dream of perfection is a form of defeat, but I think this shift in thinking allows us to respect our best efforts. Real humans aren't superheroes. We make mistakes. We have weaknesses. We don't always get it right the first time, or even the second. And that's ok.

Just don't stress about being imperfect perfectly. Lasting change doesn't happen overnight, so have patience with the process. I wish you good luck in getting to "good enough."